If you’re scratching your head and wondering: “What should I talk about with my girlfriend?” you’ve come to the right place. Girls can be tricky, and dating or not, it can be hard to know what to talk about.
You’ll be relieved to find out that girls are happy to talk about pretty much everything. From basic topics like goals and interests to deep subjects like secrets, communication styles, and love languages, there’s no shortage of things to talk about with your girlfriend. You just need to know where to start.
As a woman who’s been in a relationship for five years, I have a pretty solid handle on what you should talk to your girlfriend about. Keep reading for all the conversation topics you could ever dream of… and more.
When it comes to things to talk about with your girlfriend, you should read the situation and choose a topic appropriately. If you’re chilling out at home on the couch, it’s a good time to talk about deeper, more intimate subjects like boundaries, feelings, and bedroom topics. But if you’re out to dinner or on a stroll through the park, try talking about more lighthearted matters, like embarrassing moments, hobbies, bucket list items, and vacation ideas.
1. COMMON INTERESTS
Chances are, if you’re dating, you share a common interest or two. If you’re wondering what should I talk about with my girlfriend, common interests are an awesome place to start. They can take the form of anything, from films to books, to sports or home renovation. If you’re both a fan, you can bet it’s a great thing to talk about with your girlfriend.
2. THE FUTURE
While it may seem large and looming, the future is one of the top things to talk about with a girlfriend. She may have some ideas, and you might too, so discussing them is essential to ensure you’re on the same page and working towards the same goals.
3. LONG & SHORT-TERM GOALS
Speaking of goals, long and short-term aspirations are a wonderful topic to talk about with your girlfriend. Asking what your partner is working towards gives you an idea of their priorities and values at the moment. Understanding your girlfriend’s goals (and sharing yours, too) allows you to support and motivate her through any challenges that may arise.
Sharing a life together often means blended finances, and while no one really likes talking about money, this is a crucial thing to discuss, especially if you’re in a serious long-term relationship. Whether it’s setting a budget, reviewing monthly purchases, or trying to pinch pennies, money is always something to discuss.
5. BIGGEST PET PEEVES
Understanding each other’s pet peeves is a prime way to ensure you stay off one another’s case. If you’re at a loss for an answer to the what should I talk about with my girlfriend question, try asking her what makes her the craziest. Open communication will go a long way, and you’ll likely learn a thing or two about each other in the process.
Ah, family, love ‘em or hate ‘em, there’s always plenty to talk about. Tell each other stories about your families growing up, talk about heritage and traditions, wacky holidays, crazy uncles, and anything else related to your gene pool. Asking about family is a wonderful get to know you question.
7. YOUR FEELINGS
No one really likes talking about their feelings, but honest communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship. Take some time to open up and talk to your girlfriend about her feelings and your own. Since neither of you is a mind reader, you’ll likely discover something you didn’t know before.
8. COMMUNICATION STYLES
While everyone has a different communication style, this is one of the great solutions for the things to talk about with my girlfriend conundrum, especially in a new relationship. As you’re both figuring each other out, it’s helpful to discuss the best way to dish out and receive information so the other person is the most receptive. This is one of the best questions for a new relationship.
9. HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP
A top quality in a healthy relationship is constantly looking for ways to improve. Be it through communication, quality time, or a better understanding of each other, how to improve your relationship is among the most awesome things to talk about with your girlfriend to make sure your relationship is rock solid for years to come.
10. BEDROOM TOPICS
Fantasies, kinks, positions, and more, there are endless bedroom matters to talk about with your girlfriend. In fact, it’s healthy to chit-chat about sex. Unleashing inhibitions and talking about what you’re both into will unlock another level of closeness to your relationship. Plus, way more fun in the sheets.
11. BIRTH CONTROL
While it was once a pretty taboo subject, birth control is one of the most essential things to talk about with your girlfriend. Because despite contrary belief, avoiding pregnancy is more than just the woman’s responsibility. Discussing birth control methods early on in a relationship will go a long way in your sex life and in making her feel comfortable in the bedroom.
12. UPCOMING PLANS
Whether she looks forward to nights out or needs a month’s notice in advance, sharing upcoming plans is one of the best things to talk about with your girlfriend.
13. HOW THE DAY WENT
Asking the simple things goes a long way, so without a doubt, one of the best things to talk about with your girlfriend is how her day went. Giving her the time to share, vent, and recap will show her that you genuinely care about what goes on in her life.
14. WHAT YOU’VE LEARNED RECENTLY
What’s the point of a relationship if you’re not committed to learning and growing together? Sharing what you’ve learned recently, no matter how big or small, is one of the best things to talk about with your girlfriend.
15. DAILY LOGISTICS
Ensuring you’re both on the same page about daily logistics is a key part of sharing your life with another person. Things like chores, car usage, working hours, and more are worth discussing so you have clear expectations for each other. This is especially important if you’re living together, so there’s no confused finger-pointing when it’s time for the toilet to be cleaned.
16. WHAT SHE LOOKS FOR IN A PARTNER
At its most basic, one of the best things to talk about with your girlfriend is what she looks for in a partner. This is a great question both at the beginning and deep into a relationship because it gives you the chance to embody the qualities she looks for to give her the partner she’s always been searching for.
SWEET THINGS TO TALK ABOUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND
17. WHAT YOU’RE LOOKING FORWARD TO
Nothing is quite as sweet as being giddy with excitement for something that’s around the corner. If you or your girlfriend are looking forward to something, it’s always a great idea to talk about it so you can partake in each other’s thrill. Even if there’s nothing huge in the datebook, sharing the more minor things you’re excited about is just as worthwhile.
18. WHAT YOU APPRECIATE ABOUT EACH OTHER
There’s no doubt that your girlfriend will love hearing what you appreciate about her. So much so that she may even share what she appreciates about you, too. This is one of those things to talk about that will make her feel warm and fuzzy inside.
19. LOVE LANGUAGES
Still wondering, ‘what should I talk about with my girlfriend?’ love languages will really make her feel understood. Everyone feels loved in various ways, so determining how your girlfriend feels the most looked after will empower you to meet her needs and make her feel extra good in the future.
20. FAVORITE MEMORIES
Sharing favorite memories is a cute, feel-good thing to talk about with your girlfriend. It’ll give her a chance to relive some of the best moments of her life and give you a glimpse into what she holds closest to her heart.
21. HER IDEAL DATE
Definitely one of the best things to talk about with your girlfriend is her idea of an ideal date. You can have ideas up the wazoo, but it always helps to know your girlfriend’s preference in the romance department. Have her describe exactly how her perfect date should unfold… bonus points for replicating it in real life.
SERIOUS THINGS TO TALK ABOUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND
22. PAST RELATIONSHIPS
If you’re struggling to decide what to talk about with my girlfriend, you can always bring up past relationships. Not with the intention to rehash any bad vibes but to understand your girlfriend’s dating history, why previous relationships didn’t work out, and what you can do to continue building a long-lasting bond.
23. MEANING OF LIFE
It’s corny, but this is one topic you can speak on forever. Debating the meaning of life is a solid way to pass time and makes for awesome restaurant chat. But it may not be the best thing to talk to your girlfriend about after a long day at the office.
24. BIGGEST REGRETS
Knowing what your girlfriend regrets most in life will also show you what she holds close. Remorse and regret are powerful feelings, so if there’s something in her life she would truly re-do, it’s worth talking about it.
25. CURRENT STRUGGLES
Being aware of what each other is currently struggling with is one of the most important on the list of things to talk about with my girlfriend. Creating an opportunity to spread it all out on the table leads to an increase in understanding, patience, compassion, and empathy. Part of being in a relationship is sharing each other’s struggles, so it’s worth bringing this topic up, even if there’s nothing noticeably wrong.
26. PERSONAL BELIEFS
You can learn a lot about someone based on their personal beliefs, so if you’re looking for things to talk about with your girlfriend, this is a top choice. Personal beliefs can span endless subjects, from politics, religion, thoughts about money, education, childcare, and beyond. Of course, personal beliefs are slowly revealed over time, but knowing how she feels about the big topics from the get-go is definitely recommended.
27. BOUNDARIES AND RED FLAGS
Setting and respecting clear boundaries is a sign of any strong relationship. But it’s impossible to set boundaries without discussing them first. This is one of the best things to talk about with your girlfriend because it adds another layer of respect. Knowing where she draws the line and what she considers red flags will help you both set limits.
28. RELATIONSHIP EXPECTATIONS
There’s nothing quite as important as being clear about your partner’s expectations when it comes to being in a relationship. If you’re ever considering ‘what should I talk about with my girlfriend?’ relationship expectations are a smart place to start. This topic will give you an idea of what she’s looking for and expects while laying out the foundation for what it means to be a top-notch partner in her eyes.
29. VALUES AND MORALS
Clearly understanding your girlfriend’s values and morals is a fundamental part of any relationship. And the best way to do this is to ask her to dish it all out. There’s nothing worse than thinking you know someone and then finding out months later their values are completely opposite to your own. Talking about this at the beginning will definitely save some strife and confusion down the line.
30. COPING MECHANISMS
Life throws us curveballs all the time, and knowing how your girlfriend copes with hardship will go a long way in making sure you support her properly in the way that she really needs. Some women may cope through exercise, artistic outlets, or a good old-fashioned cry. Knowing whether she needs to be wrapped up in a giant hug or left alone will enable you to be her number one through any ups and downs.
THINGS TO TALK ABOUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND WHEN YOU’VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR A WHILE
31. LIVING TOGETHER
If your relationship is progressing and you feel like it might be time to take the next step, living together is one of the best things to talk about with your girlfriend. Discussing if you’re ready and even when to move in together can show that you’re both committed to moving forward and sharing a life together.
Been dating for a while? You already know that she’s thinking about marriage. Take initiative and talk about the possibility with your girlfriend. She’ll appreciate you bringing it up, especially if she’s been hinting at it. This will also allow you to both set clear expectations about taking the big leap.
Talking about kids definitely isn’t first-date material, but it’s one of the most important things to talk about with your girlfriend down the line. So many great relationships hit a brick wall when one partner wants children and the other doesn’t. So understanding each other’s stances on the matter, and even how many kids you want, is an essential part of knowing you’re with the right person.
Pets are basically like furry children, and if you’ve been together for a while, this is one of the best things to talk about with your girlfriend. Instead of committing to a small human, discuss the idea of getting a pet, especially if she can’t resist saying hi to every dog she meets.
35. DEEPEST FEARS
Talking to your girlfriend about her deepest fears will let you know what really gets under her skin. Having knowledge of these phobias also gives you the ability to protect her, so the next time a spider comes crawling, you’ll know exactly what to do.
When the conversation topics run thin, and you’re left wondering, ‘what should I talk about with my girlfriend?’ Secrets are a steamy subject. Even if you’ve been together for quite some time, it’s likely you still have some mystery left. Ask your girlfriend if she has any secrets, and be sure to share yours, too. This only works if you’re both willing to open up and get vulnerable.
FUN THINGS TO TALK ABOUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND
37. BUCKET LIST ITEMS
The bucket list chat is always a safe bet for the ‘what to talk about with my girlfriend’ situation. It’s super fun to discover what she wants to accomplish in her life and her wildest dreams. Even better if you can make some of the items come to fruition. If you talk about this with your girlfriend, you’ll always have vacation or date inspiration up your sleeve.
38. VACATION IDEAS
If she has a hefty case of wanderlust, vacation ideas are one of the best things to talk about with my girlfriend. She’ll love dreaming up different destinations from far and wide. You can even decide on one together—then you’ll have plenty to talk about while planning the trip.
39. HOW TO SURVIVE A ZOMBIE APOCOLYPSE
This is one of those things to talk about with your girlfriend that will never get old. Debating how to survive a zombie apocalypse lets both of your creativity run free. My boyfriend posed this question on one of our first dates, and we still regularly discuss it five years later.
40. FAVORITE FOODS
One thing about most girls is they love to talk about food. Be it the last meal they had or their ultimate comfort food, chow is a top conversation starter. There are lots of ways to talk about food with your girlfriend—try asking questions like “what could you eat every day for the rest of your life?” or “what would your death row meal be?”
A girl’s favorite movies can say a lot about her. Rom-coms mean she’s likely searching for her own prince charming. Thriller fan, and she’s probably addicted to serial killer podcasts (watch your back). At least having an idea of her preferred genre can lead to some stellar date nights in the future.
If your girlfriend is a total bookworm or has fallen victim to the latest Colleen Hoover craze, books are an ideal conversation topic. Not only will you learn all about her favorite books, but talking about stories will quickly reveal her taste, which means you’ll always have a thoughtful gift idea up your sleeve.
Talking to your girlfriend about hobbies will give you an idea of what she gets up to in her free time and inspiration for activities to do together. Whether she’s a committed DIY queen or constantly trying out a new sport or craft, hobbies are a worthy conversation topic and may lead to your next killer date night.
Having a solid understanding of each other’s habits is important in a relationship because it gives you an idea of what to expect. Nail biting, smoking, excessive screen time, you name it. This is one of the best things to talk about with your girlfriend because you’ll have knowledge about it upfront rather than uncovering them later down the line.
45. MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENTS
Reliving embarrassing moments together is an amazing way to get a laugh out of your girlfriend. Sure, it may be blush-inducing to spill about the time you split your pants or tripped in public, but it’s all worth it for the giggles, right?